Wanting
The funeral was today.
She had always wanted to hear the words, “I love you”, just once from her father. In fact, those words were the only words she said to the church before she took her seat once more.
Her wedding was today.
She had always wanted to get married. Every day she told her husband that she loved him. In fact, she said it so much that he got sick of hearing it.
Today was her divorce.
She had done everything she could to convince him to stay. She cried, begged, threatened, even said that she loved him but he still walked away.
Today was her due day.
She had always wanted to have children when she was younger but she was afraid to raise them, afraid they would leave her like her husband. She kept her distance, she didn’t tell them she loved them, she let them do whatever they wished and hoped that they would love her for it.
The funeral was today.
Her son stood in front of the church and looked at his mother’s body. He opened his mouth and then closed it. His brow furrowed in concentration and he heaved a great sigh. After a long minute he told the near-empty church that he had always wanted to hear the words “I love you”, just once from his mother. In fact, those words were the only words he said before he took his seat once more.
I really like the way you put this story together. The flow is great and it is developed well. I like how the words "I love you" is continuous throughout the entire piece. I also like how the story begins and ends with the woman's life and her death. I really truly like this piece. It makes the reader consider life and the people they care about.
ReplyDeleteBecky...
ReplyDeleteThis is great! So much emotion! So interesting and deep. I love how it shows the whole cycle of someones life in such a short space. I love the irony in it as well.
This piece was really good. You did a great job capturing basically a whole life in a matter of a few stanzas. I also enjoyed the emotion, and how it flipped to her son at the end.
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